Somebody That I Used To Know

"But I don't want to live that way, reading into every word you say" -Gotye

So, allow me to elaborate on my past week or so.

Last weekend I participated in the Western Cup. It is, "North America's longest running multisport LGBT event" An event indeed. I curled in played volleyball. Too much exercise for a fat kid. Just saying. It is also a weekend for the gays of Calgary to become rowdy, sleazy, and athletic. Great times.

I definitely drank far too much. However, that is the point of this thing. The bars throughout the city must know to stock up. My knees were severely bruised and cut from playing volleyball with pads that were sub par. I was in so much pain I couldn't walk... Until I got to drinking. After my final curling game on Friday night, we decided it would be a great idea to allow me to get drunk and go to the local bear bar. This night ended up in me, conservative little me, getting into a cage, and allowing men to view me almost crying. Drunk Brennan cries. He either laughs so hard he cries, gets emotional, or is so scared he cries. This night included the last. I then ended up on a pool table in my underwear. I will not delve into that one at all.

After all was said and done, I got dressed, and left for home. Not knowing where my car was. It was at the curling rink, and I did not drive at all. Thank god for that. The next morning, at our 8 am curling game, the looks and stories and words were all of an awkward nature. I tell myself now that this won't happen again. Let's be honest, next year will be the same.

Einstein

"No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it" -Albert Einstein.

There are days when not being in school pisses me off beyond belief. To the point that it is driving me bat shit crazy. And it is also causing some pretty crazy shit in my personal life. While my closest friend get ready to walk the stage this year in their own convocations, what do I have to show for the past 3 years post-grad? Absolutely fuck all.

Sure I scored 2310 on the SATs and also finished writing an entrance exam to a prestigious medical school in Poland, to which I was shortlisted. But really? What have I become? Certainly not the man I wanted to be when I thought of what my life would be like when I was 16. 

5 years ago, I didn't even really know what I wanted to do. And now I am seriously just thinking "Fuck it. I'll go live in random countries for a year at a time, and see what the hell this ridiculous world has to offer." New Zealand is looking pretty damn great. As is Poland, Ukraine, Switzerland, Austria, Ireland, Kenya, and last, and certainly not least, Brazil.

While this may scare the living shit out of me, I am debating this like crazy. New Zealand has some pretty nutso people. They surf, they jump off of bridges, go hang gliding, and live with more sheep than people. These guys seem pretty cool. Plus, the accents. My dear Jesus, the accent would drive me up the wall swooning. Can I see myself going bungee jumping? Probably not, would I do it? FUCK YES

So, after basically sabotaging my own relationship today, with a guy that has fewer quirks than expected... Other than loving Bieber, One Direction, and the Kardashian's, I feel like ass. So I am looking into moving across the world, swearing off sex, and also finding my own peace. The guy will still be there. He always is. He is too nice to me, and all I want him to do is beat the shit out of me and tell me I am fucktard. Cause I am.

Canada just makes me angry. By angry, I mean I make Hiroshima-Nagasaki look like a wet firecracker. 

Plus, they have curling clubs in New Zealand. I would kick some ass. 

Who knows, I'll probably be stuck slinging lattes for the next 40 years. I'll retire with my three dogs, named Mojito, Martini, and Sangria. I'm an alcoholic.

Namaste