Ready or Not

"Here I come, I'm about to show you where the light comes from." - Britt Nicole

My life thus far has been filled with joy, sorrow, and far too much vodka. The most important being the vodka. Being a Polish-Canadian, vodka has had a huge impact on my life.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. Why, you ask? Because, simply put, it's honest. People who try to hide what they're truly feeling piss me off to no end. If you aren't okay, don't tell me you are. On the other hand, however, I also get why this is so hard for people. If you don't want to describe why you're angry, sad, in a murderous rage, or any other menopausal or PMS-esque fit, then don't. Please don't blow up on me when I say something is wrong... Fuck, you make it so obvious.

I'm a gay man. This doesn't define me... However, it does offer a little bit of insight as to why I am so psychotic. The gays confuse me. In a community that has suffered from so much oppression from the outer realms of lifestyles, why the fuck is there so much segregation between individual groups in our community?! Legit. I may not want to get married to a drag queen, but if they want to be a drag queen all the power to them.

(I know this has somewhat turned into a rant. I'm bitter, bite me motherfuckers)

I work at Starbucks. I cannot go one single day without it. It is the source of my happiness, and my misery. It provides me with money (albeit not much) and free coffee. What's wrong with that, right? Everything. I slave away, slinging lattes for those who believe they are entitled to everything and anything, simply because they are breathing. Fuck you.

I'm catholic. Oxymoron, right? Probably. I am not sure how I feel about it... However, it is one thing that has remained constant since my infant baptism, and nothing else has ever held true.

I am a firm believer that every person has a place in this world. A purpose. Even if that purpose is to make me feel like shit while making your venti nonfat no water 180 degree, no foam, light whip Tazo Chai. I fight for the acknowledgement of suicide being a major crisis in this world. Hope is real. Help is real. Your story is important.

I have known far too many people to have committed suicide... 8 to be exact. Having suffered from depression and having suicidal thoughts, as well as attempting to take my own life 3 times in the coming out process, this strikes home.

Music is my fortress. This seems pretty cliche, but no matter what someone says to me, I think of a song for the statement. It's my own OCD complex. If I cannot think of a song, I look for one. My hours spent listening to random songs by the most obscure artists has allowed this to become a reality.

So that is me. Kind of. There is so much more to me. But that's all you really need to know. This is only the tip of the iceberg... Brace yourselves, betches.

Namaste